From the article: When Grandparenting Isn't Fun
One of the things I love about the essay collection The Art of Grandparenting is the inclusion of some stories about bad grandparenting experiences. The authors of some of the essays were brave enough and honest enough to tell about times that they were scared or angry or impatient. Are you equally brave? Tell us about your worst experience as a grandparent. Tell Your Story
Honesty the Best Policy
- Deborah367, I think you did not respect your son's wishes because you resent babysitting. You could be doing it subconsciously. You want them to say, "No you can not babysit anymore." It's better to tell them you don't want to babysit so much.
- —Guest Bettyboo
When Grandparenting Is Not Fun
- My husband and I are raising a granddaughter who is now 7. She was nearly 2 1/2 when she came into our care. Took her to the dentist to get her teeth checked. It was found that she had 14 holes in 10 teeth due to all the chocolate milk that her mother had given her. Our beautiful granddaughter had to have them repaired under general anaesthetic. I took her down to the theatre and held her while the nurse gave her the injection. She was squirming in my arms, I was doing my best not to cry. I felt so guilty that this beautiful little soul had to go through such an ordeal, yet I knew it wasn't my fault.
- —Sallyinnz
Grandparenting Issues
- I love my grandkids, but they've monopolized my life. I'm 48 and have absolutely no career plan. I've been a mom since I was 19. Just when I thought I could go back to school and set my sights on a career, my daughter dropped a bomb on me--she was pregnant. I thought this was just a minor setback. Then I became pregnant for the 4th time. Now--3 more grandkids later--I'm the only babysitter available and (at my own insistence) she and her husband pay me just $100 a week. Hardly compensation enough for the future I've forfeited! What will I do in another 5 or 6 years, when they're all in school? Will I have any employment options? If so, what will be available to a woman my age? I've battled depression since I was a teenager. I've been able to cope and manage it without medication--and absolutely refuse to put my life on that roller coaster. But, honestly, this experience is draining the life out of me. Our family income is never sufficient. Now things are even more bleak.
- —Guest Alison
Selfish
- This one goes out to Deborah367. I have a son of my own and it seems like you and my in-laws have a lot in common. When OUR children have problems whether it be physical, or just a trait we have noticed thus far in our limited parenting experience, you should listen to us. We are not stupid, and you have no right to go out and deliberately disobey an order from a doctor! They are the parents and you are not so why don't you (out of respect for your child) listen to the parents and avoid an argument where you were clearly out of line. Quit trying to justify your actions through a website and listen to your grandchild's parents.
- —Guest Parent
An evening out...
- My kids are great parents and rarely leave their kids but I was visiting and they had a fancy event they wanted to attend, so I eagerly accepted when they asked if I would keep the kids so they could attend the event. I had some instructions. G, who was three, could have his spider man candy only after supper had been eaten. Got it! Unfortunately, he saw the candy and wanted it and when I explained the caveat to the treat, he went into spasms of crying that went on and on and on and on...Meanwhile, his older sister got mad at me about her dinner and ran into the play room, and managed to lock herself in. (who puts a lock on the inside of the kid's room? Not I, Said the Fly) I could not get her out, and he was screaming those screams that you think the neighbors must be calling child protective services by now. I had to call their parents. Failure! My daughter said, "Give him the candy. Leave her in the play room. You're great at this Mom! :)" Leave the gun, take the canoli.
- —nevada2
Slap on the Wrist by Son
- My son and daughter-in-law like to drop my 8-month-old grandson off at our house on a whim, just because they'd like to go out to eat, do shopping, etc. I still have a full time job and am beat on weekends, but have a hard time saying no. I love my grandson, but it's getting to be much. My husband and I watched him two days ago and, while he was there, I gave him a "taste" of pudding. Literally, one small baby spoon on his tongue. I know he has stomach issues, but I was recently told they were giving him yogurt, which is milk based, so I thought no harm. You would think I had poisoned their child. I was told that he was up all night with cramps and diarrhea (maybe it was the yogurt they had been giving him for 3 weeks) and that the topic was not up for discussion, that I was forbidden to give the baby anything that was not pre-approved by them. They are all of 26 years old. I have raised 3 children and have 4 other grandchildren. If you can't trust your mother to take good care of your children. . . .
- —Deborah367
Is it Time to Stop
- Don't take this the wrong way, we love our daughter and adore our granddaughter. My wife and I both work full time, and the other grandparents also work full time. Problem: The kids work nights, full time. We have been taking turns everyother night watching their baby. Three months have gone by. If we ask them about getting daycare we get guilt tripped. My wife and I live on a farm and still have a 15 year old daughter at home. We work in the city, an hour drive oneway. We have to stop and pick up the baby, same with the other grandparents, and meet them in the morning for pickup. We are tired. How can we stop this without losing our family? My daughter is the type to keep her from us because we can't bow to her every demand. We thought we raised her right, and have been telling ourselves we messed up somewhere along the way. Any ideas would help.
- —Guest At a crossroads
Sick Grandkids Are No Fun!
- As much as I love my grandchildren, I'll never forget one time two of them were spending the night, and both starting throwing up. It had been quite a few years since I had had to deal with any effusions except for my own, and I did not enjoy the experience! I wasn't one bit sorry when their parents came to pick them up. Thankfully, that's the only time I've had that problem.
- —BigPawPaw
