1. Parenting

Grandmother Has No Good News

Share Your Story: Grandparents Who Have Been Denied Visitation Rights

By grampmaw

Grandmother Has No Good News

The Situation

My son and his then-girlfriend, now-wife moved in with us over 3 years ago because he was having medical problems. They paid for nothing but a few groceries that they got food stamps for. The first year wasn't too bad; then my daughter-in-law started taking Xanax and whatever else she could get and stayed drugged up all the time. We got into it a few times, and they left but always came back. On New Year's Day we had a big fuss and they left. About a week later my son left her and moved back. Seems she had been cheating. She came and got her stuff, and we have not seen the kids since then.

What I Did and the Outcome

We tried to talk to our daughter-in-law, but she changes her cell phone number about every day. She has cussed all of us out and said terrible things. When she came to get her stuff, she would not leave and we had to call the police. So no; we have not been successful. She is living with a friend and her husband who are good people, but it hasn't seemed to rub off on her. Our granddaughter had her fifth birthday without our seeing her. I am at my wits end. We cannot afford to hire a lawyer because I have become unable to work. If anyone has any suggestions, we would love to hear them.


I don't know. I really don't think there would have been a better outcome. You cannot talk to her reasonably.

If you had the chance, what would you do differently?

I tried to be a friend/mentor but since my son tried to commit suicide because of the situation and she cussed all of his family at the hospital, I really have no desire to see her. I talk to her mother who has kicked her out because of the drugs and her abuse. We love the kids. At a loss!

Is there anything that eases the heartbreak?


Susan Adcox, About.com Grandparents, says:

This situation happens far more often than it should. Almost everyone occasionally has a family dispute that is resolvable. When substance abuse is in the picture, the outlook is much less positive. Grandparents who don't have the financial resources to sue for visitation have little choice other than to try to keep the door open for a reconciliation. I would be as non-confrontational as possible and hang on to any contacts that you have who can give you a report on the children. And hope and pray that your daughter-in-law gets some help.

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