Roots of the Conflict
My daughter leads a lifestyle that is completely foreign to me. In the past she has been on drugs. My daughter has had many children by different men, she has called raped when she wasn't, she didn't finish her community service due to being pregnant. Her youngest daughter swallowed a small camera battery that was left in her esophagus for three days before she was taken to the hospital. At a family group conference my daughter agreed to get help. I don't trust her; she lies and manipulates people into doing what she requires.
What I Did and How It Turned Out
At the family group conference it was agreed that her daughter would come into our care for a period of 6 months while my daughter got the treatment she required. My daughter moved to another part of the country while we remained in Wellington to take care of our granddaughter. After a couple of weeks my daughter stopped phoning to speak to her daughter, and she has not seen her since 27 April 2007. At the end of 2007 we returned to our home in upstate New York, packed up our belongings and returned to New Zealand to raise our beautiful granddaughter. She will remain with us for the rest of our lives.
My husband and I never questioned whether or not we should raise our granddaughter; it was a silent agreement. Putting her into a foster home was never an option. We just knew that we had to step up to the plate put retirement aside and start raising our granddaughter.
Lessons Learned
- Don't sweat the small stuff.
- Don't fight battles that are not worth fighting.
- Praise when praise is absolutely due.
- Figure out how to get your grandchildren to help around the house.
- Take the time to smell the roses with your grandchildren.
- Try to have a "Granny Nap," because fatigue can be the worst thing.
- Putting a routine in place makes life easier.
- If you have a partner, try to share responsibilities.
- Most importantly love your grandchild unconditionally. Give lots and lots of cuddles, because they make all the hard work worthwhile.
