Raising Kids Why Maternal Grandparents Tend to Be Closer to Grandkids Than Paternal According to research. By Susan Adcox Published on April 1, 2024 Fact checked by Elizabeth Brownfield Trending Videos Close this video player JohnnyGreig/Getty Images When it comes to a grandparent's relationship with their grandchildren, no connections are created equal. However, interestingly enough, research has shown that typically maternal grandparents are closer to grandchildren than paternal grandparents—though, of course, there's no hard and fast rule. Here, we'll take a look at the differences between a child's relationship with their maternal vs. paternal grandparents, and what scientific studies can tell us about the differences between the two. 6 Challenging Grandparent Styles and How to Set Boundaries to Cope With Them Maternal vs. Paternal Grandparents: Differences in Closeness Some people may assume this difference is due to parents' role as gatekeepers between grandparents and parents. In spite of strides in gender equality, mothers in heterosexual relationships with cis men are still likely to direct their children's activities and take on the brunt of the emotional labor and household management . They may give heightened importance to contact with their own parents. Of course, studies have identified many other factors that affect the closeness of a relationship. Geographical distance is one consideration, although many grandparents are willing to travel to see their grandchildren. A grandparent's employment status, health, economic status, and personality can also be influential factors. Another variable is the number of grandchildren a grandparent has. A grandparent with many grandchildren may find it difficult to spend quality time and bond with each one. The Role of Early Bonding With Grandparents The preference for maternal grandparents may start early, with maternal grandmothers anecdotally being more likely to be invited into the delivery room. Similarly, the maternal grandmother is more likely to help out after the birth of a baby, facilitating early bonding with the grandchild. Similarly, research has shown the importance of a grandparent's involvement when it comes to maternal mental health. One study determined that grandparental support may protect birthing people from experiencing postpartum depression, especially those who are single parents. Postpartum depression is something that can affect anyone, and does impact approximately 1 in 8 birthing people. Having a support system from a grandparent can help with feelings of overwhelm or loneliness. Teenagers' Relationships With Grandparents Studies featuring teens show that the advantage of the maternal grandmother does not dissipate with time. Studies of teen grandchildren are especially valuable, because teens are presumably old enough to initiate some contact with grandparents on their own, and because they are old enough to draw competent conclusions about relationships. In one study of British teens, the maternal grandmother was the most important family member outside of their immediate family. The maternal grandfather was next in ranking. Closeness was fostered, according to the teens, by involvement in their school lives. In addition, 8 out of 10 teens said that their maternal grandmothers had discussed their futures with them and had given the teens good advice. Signs Your Child's Grandparent Is a Narcissist—and What To Do About It Maternal vs. Paternal Grandparents and Divorce The roles of maternal and paternal grandparents tend to diverge more widely when the parents of their grandchildren divorce. In spite of advances in gender equality, only 17.5% of fathers have primary custody after a divorce. When a mother wins custody in a heterosexual relationship, the maternal grandparents often step in to fill gaps in parenting and to provide stability to the family. In the process, the maternal grandparents tend to become closer to their grandchildren. This may also occur with paternal grandparents when the father gets custody, but that is a comparatively less common event. When the mother wins custody after a divorce, paternal grandparents tend to see their grandchildren less. They may, however, play an important role in facilitating contact between children and their paternal families. 10 Thoughtful Gifts for Grandparents Under $50 to Show How Much You Care Grandparents and Multigenerational Living The preference for maternal grandparents isn't so clear when it comes to multigenerational living. If young people share households with their parents, cultural factors are likely to determine whether they will move in with maternal or paternal grandparents. Of course, other considerations such as location and economics may override cultural patterns. Ethnic and religious cultures with strong familial ties comprise a greater proportion multigenerational homes. The Bottom Line Needless to say, the effort put forth by a grandparent is always going to be the biggest factor in whether grandparents and grandchildren have a close relationship. Grandparents who want to be involved in the lives of their grandchildren and yet who manage to be respectful of parental roles have the highest likelihood of success. And this is true regardless of their position on the family tree. If Your Kids Seem to Prefer Their Grandparents Over You, You're Not Alone and It's OK Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit Sources Parents uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. 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