Raising My Granddaughter
- I have been raising my granddaughter since she was born. My daughter did live with me but does not now. My granddaughter goes to her dad's once or twice every two or three weeks. I need guardianship but am afraid to start any problems. I put her in school and I am the only one who has taken her to get medical care and to the dentist. I am also the only one who financially supports her. What should I do? I am so afraid. I could not handle not having her. Our bond is unbreakable.
- —Guest Hollie
Son's Wife Has Taken Our Access Away
- My son who lives with his girlfriend had a baby 4 months ago. They both knew how excited his dad and I were. His girlfriend has newly started seeing her mum and family again. We have had nothing but problems since he was born -- not allowed to pick him up, not to do this and that. We walked on egg shells with her. She caused a big argument with us. We are a quiet couple and always had a loving family. She threw us out, and now we not allowed to ever see our grandson again. We are heartbroken. My son still wants a relationship with us, but said she won't let him bring the baby ever to see us. We are devastated. Please help. xx
- —Guest Diane
Cut Off From Daughter and Grandchildren
- My daughter, her husband and their two children, aged 8 and 9, live about 45 minutes away. We usually do a "kid pickup" when I take the kids for the day or a weekend. Well, the last time about a month ago, we made arrangements for my son-in-law (who is, by the way, an alcoholic) to drop the kids off at our usual meeting place. He was reeking of alcohol, which meant that he had driven drunk with the kids in the car. I noted it and didn't say anything about it to him. But the next day when I dropped the kids off to my daughter, I told her about his drinking and driving with the kids in the car. She became hysterical and said she would confront him. Everything was escalated when she got home. The next day I called to see how she was doing, and she was very cold to me. I've tried to contact her, and it's been very limited. Last week she said that she doesn't want to see me, and I can't even see the kids. So I'm punished for doing the right thing -- so sad. I keep praying, but it still hurts.
Let It Be -- Accept What Is
- I have two grandchildren I adore and spent several years seeing three or four times a week. Now the husband only wants his family to be involved with the children. When we come to pick them up and take them to a play, for example, he doesn't even say hello, just pushes the children out the door. Now they don't even respond to phone calls or emails asking to see the children. I have been miserable for years about this and have finally decided that life is too short. I must accept what is and build anew. We shouldn't have to spend our lives being trampled on like a rug, just because we want to help or be important to the next generation. I think these situations are a lot more common that people let on, so do not take it personally. It is painful, but not your fault. People are unkind and cruel all over this planet, and just because they are "family" doesn't make it any different. Let it be and get on with your own life.
- —Guest Elinor
1st time Grandma
- My daughter had gotten pregnant but never married the guy. She is now married but still in touch with her ex's parents. They have paid for her apartment and spoiled my grandbaby, and my daughter lets them see her more. My granddaughter's "grandparents" are not married. So this woman is not related at all. She caused problems in the past when I tried to keep my daughter from running away with her "stepson." She wouldn't help me get her home, even though she knew exactly where my daughter was. I have had it, and yet I don't know what to do. I feel she has overstepped her boundaries many times. She is now even calling my daughter her daughter. I see what she is doing, she knows what she is doing, but my daughter is blind because of the money. So frustrated!
- —Guest UGH
- For seven years we bent over backwards to please our crazy daughter-in-law. She would dictate what we ate in OUR home and where we shopped. She said she did not respect me because we brought the kids home a half hour late. Then she told me she couldn't trust me because my granddaughter threw up while she was with me, and I didn't call her immediately. I did. I just didn't call her while the child was vomiting! So then she decided my husband can't see the babies, and I can only see them if I go to her house and she is present. To take that power away from her, of using the children as a way to get her control junkie fix, we opted to wait for the day our grandbabies come looking for us, and they will. Now my son says, "You did this, Mom! We never took them from you!" Life is hell ... then you die....
- My son's ex-partner has stopped me contacting my grandsons. She is so bitter towards my son that if I stand up for him, she stops contact. I am greatly concerned about what effect this is having on the boys' emotional well being.
There Is Always HOPE
- My heart breaks and the tears fall like rain. How I hope and pray that one day soon I will see my darling granddaughter. I pray she loves me and remembers me and knows how much I love her and so desperately want to hold her, kiss her and have fun with her. Everything happens for a reason and God has a plan. We don't understand but must trust him.
Working on Grandparents' Rights
- For all grandparents who are being alienated from their grandchildren, there is an association on Facebook called Grandparents' Rights Association of the United States. They work with legislators to amend the grandparents' rights laws. This is not a support group. It's an action group, with a proven success track record. I recommend any grandparent who is dealing with this issue to join. Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/GRAAmerica
- Since Mother's Day of 2011 I haven't spent much time with my daughter and haven't physically seen her since Dec. 23, 2012. She is cold and uncaring. I have had physical problems and have been in the hospital, and she doesn't call or visit. She has also cut ties with her brother, left her boyfriend of ten years and even put an injunction against him, but it was dropped on the first court date. I was in court in the back, and she never saw me. When I emailed her weeks later and told her I was there, she never responded. I thought she might need me. She doesn't need anyone. I have been widowed twice. The first time I was 22 and pregnant with her. Three years ago I lost my fiancé of 10 years. I have struggled too, but she doesn't even care.
- —Guest judy r
Power of Prayer
- I pray that God reaches down and wraps his loving strong arms around about each one of you and gives you peace. I know that the power of prayer moves mountains -- mountains that may seem unmovable-- and softens the hardest hearts. I am a Nana who loves and adores her two grandbabies with everything in me, and when you can't see them, it hurts beyond words! I know that I will see my grandbabies again because King Jesus is fighting my battle for me, and he will do the same for each one of you.
- —Guest Nana
Still Fighting for My Rights
- To Sue: I feel the same way you do sometimes. I wish I never had children, This is just too much pain to carry. I lost my daughter and now my grandchildren.
Still Fighting for my Rights
- Long story Short,( my pc keeps stopping) My daughter passed away 5 years ago, leaving my two beautiful grandchildren, boy and girl, 10-7 now. Dad met a new girlfriend 1 1/2years ago. she moved into the new home my daughter and son-in-law built. Three months later, she showed her true colors. She is very controlling, has stopped my grandkids from coming over as often, she has vastly isolated his family and friends, except the ones she wants to keep around for her advantage, like teachers that used to work with the Department of Family and Children's Services. She has them going to a new church where most of the judges and lawyers attend. When my grandson told me how she had been treating them, I told him to tell his dad. Of course, he took her side over his son's, so I tried to talk to him. Now I had to hire a lawyer for visitation rights, and she is eating up every minute of it. I see them twice a month, only call them every night for 5 minutes each, until we go back to court. Every time I call, the girlfriend stands right over the kids, and says all kinds of things to get me upset. But I'm trying my best to keep my cool until court is over. I invited her to meet me across the road behind the barn to have a woman-to-woman dicussion about this problem we have, but no response. Keep in mind I will do whatever it takes to see my grandchildren.
I Hit the Wrong Button
- This year I had helped my friend's husband pass. The day he passed, I called my son and asked him to bring my granddaughter to me. He lives 3 hours from me. He said, I'll see what I can do, Mom. Well, usually that means no, so having all kinds of emotions running and having just had my mentally challenged sister move to my town and only me to help her, I had a moment, I call it. I was on Facebook and saw a picture of my baby granddaughter on my son's mother-in-law's page. Not knowing how to hide her posts, I deleted her with all intention of putting her back on more then likely the next day,but my son did come and then I had forgot,but put her back on my facebook on Sunday. Well, just let me tell you what a mistake that was! All hell broke lose. I tried to explain I had had a moment and it didn't have anything to do with the mother-in-law. I happen to like her and have never had any issues with her. I told them I had a moment, but now I'm not allowed in their home. If you have any advice, that would be great.
- —Guest Dorothy
Our Heart Is Breaking
- My granddaughter was molested by the boyfriend of her grandmother on her mother's side. He is in prison, yet her mother hid this from us. We found out three weeks later. My granddaughter been in my life since birth. I've lived near her, had her at my home, babysat her while her mom went to school. Yet because they aren't married, I'm told I have no rights. Why?...Can someone tell me? She carries our name. she was born on her dad's birthday. We miss and love her. It's time the law is changed to allow grandparents in their grandchildren's life. I have 5 other grandkids and see them. Please help us find a way to be in our grandchildren's lives.
- —Guest mm