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Readers Respond: Grandparents Denied Contact With Grandchildren Share Their Strategies

Responses: 494

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Let It Be

I suggest grandparents stand up and fight for the right to see grandchildren. They need us :)
—BrokenGma

Help Me Find a Way...

Please help me to gain rights. I don't know what to do.
—Guest Paula Montgomery

Mrs

My daughter has cut me out of her life and will not give a reason. I have tried everything. Now she is a mum. I was not allowed at the baby shower or near the hospital. My grandson is nearly 2. I have met him 5 times. The pain is too hard to describe. I work 7 days a week just to escape the pain. I look at grandparents down the street with their grandchildren, and I don't know whether to be happy for them or to be envious. All I know is the only thing I would be guilty of is loving and spoiling my grandson. Signed, Completely HeartBroken
—Guest Dianne Jones

Is It Autism?

I have just one daughter and son-in-law. They have a beautiful autistic daughter who is mostly non-verbal. I adore her, and so does my husband. We were all so very close, but then she started saying and doing sexual things that would shock me. I did not trust her dad. My daughter caught him looking at porn, and his stepmother said he couldn't be trusted. I called CPS and reported it. The investigation lasted for months, and they found him innocent. My husband is dying now and would love to see our granddaughter. We have suffered through this loss for almost 3 years now. My son-in-law happens to be a counselor for children.
—Guest sad grandma

Cannot See Grandson

My son and the mother of my grandson were never a couple. Their dates consisted of every few weeks hooking up in her bedroom or his. They never went out anywhere. My 16-month-old grandson lives with mommy. She denies us, his grandparents, visits. My son, the baby's father, gets a 2-hour visit every Wednesday with her tagging along. They go to Walmart or Tim Hortons. No one-on-one bonding between daddy and son! She bullied my son to give her sole custody because the baby lives with her and her parents. She is controlling, and it's always her rules, her rules, and we are left out of everything. No birthday, no Christmas -- nothing for us, but everything for her family. So unfair and cruel! And she tells my son we are not allowed to ask him about our grandson. We can only speak to HER about our grandson.
—grammywannabe

We Don't Deserve This

This is one of the most difficult things we've ever gone through. We are trying to comfort each other, but I grieve a lot more than what my husband sees. It's becoming unbearable, and I never thought I could, but it's making me almost hate my own son.
—Guest devastated mimi

I Don't Care Any More

I feel the same way -- not appreciated by my selfish kids, and not from just one child of mine but four. Especially my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter. My oldest grandson just told me that my oldest daughter's new husband told him that they weren't going to be allowed to come over here any more because I told my daughter off about my two-year-old grandson who is allowed to disrespect them and me. All the other kids get in trouble if they say one bad thing to the two-year-old because they say he doesn't know better. Yes, he does.
—Guest always my fault

My Grandkids Are Paying

It has been a year now since the last time I saw my grandkids, and the pain is unbearable. I'm suffering alone because nobody cares like I care for them. I'm surrounded by people who don't know how much I miss them, especially on holidays. The thought of their not been able to see me is tearing me apart. I know they want answers, but nobody cares. We spent lots of time toqether. I drove 6 hours just so that they could spend two or three weeks with me. This was every holiday. I know they miss that. Now I don't know where they are.
—Guest Aracelis

Nobody Knows

I love my grandson Aidan. He and I have been through so much together. I don't think he is okay, and I know I am not. Nobody understands.
—Guest Kathleen Burgess

Heartbroken

I took care of my granddaughters until they were 5 and 1. Now there's also a grandson, but my daughter won't let me see them at all. I disagreed with something they were doing, and I'm being "punished." I am heartbroken, and angry. My mother had very little to do with my children, and I know how it affected them, but my daughter still refuses to let me be a part of their lives. It's very immature, selfish and cruel.
—Guest grandma

Please Consider This

I truly feel horrible for grandparents that have lost their children and are now being barred from seeing their grandchildren and for those that have children or children in-laws that are addicts that blackmail them for access to their grandkids; but many of these posts reek of such undue entitlement that its disgusting. Many of these posts seem completely irrespective of the parents' rights to parent their children as they see fit. Please try to respect the fact that your children are hopefully capable adults if you reared them properly. Your children having children is not your second chance to parent either your children or grandchildren. Nor are children born with any job but to grow into well-adjusted adults, and it is their parents' job to get them there. I understand all of the "broken" hearts out there, but understand when you say that, it's like saying your grandchildren are supposed to be your emotional medicine. What horrible pressure to put on a child to be responsible for an adult!
—Guest Some mother

Miscommunication3

This is my third post here. On March 20, 2014, it will be a month since I've seen my grandbaby. I know that there are many grandparents here that haven't seen their grandchildren for many months or even years. My hope is that they will not keep him away for so much time. It almost feels like there's been a death in my family. My husband and I miss our sweet baby so so much. Our children are all grown up now, and for a period of time, I was dealing with empty nest syndrome. I missed their little faces. Anthony helped me through that. I'm grateful about it. I'm going to respect their wishes and not try to contact them. But my husband and i have agreed that if we have not seen Anthony by August, we are going to move out of state. We cannot bear to live in the same city (which is under 150,000 ppl) and cross paths with them and act like strangers. I already think that this event will make it very awkward between all of us. I hope that everyone on here makes amends, for the babies' sakes.
—Guest devastated mimi

Grandma Is Special

My heart is broken beause my adopted daughter will not let us see our three beautiful granddaughters. We had a great life with her until she moved out on her own and started getting in trouble with wanting to party all the time. Then came the girls, and her behavior got worse. As a parent I tried to stop this behavior, and this is the result of worrying over their safety. I don't know where to turn for help. My daughter's out of control with her not being responsible for these three beautiful girls. I also wonder and question the court system for these young mothers that only want children to collect assistance so they can continue to party. Then when grandparents step in to protect the grandchildren, THIS IS WHAT WE GET! And the children have to go back to the abuse. When will the courts quit giving children back to abuse, just because they're the parents. If it's because the courts don't want to keep them from their parents and so continue to put them in harms way, WHY?
—Guest guest wendy

Grandparents

I have posted here before. What is it with the younger generation? I would never disrespect any adult, never mind my husband's family. They don't seem to care. My son needs to stand up to his partner, but he won't. So now we don't see our grandson. My husband and I are devastated. I cry every day. I have always been close to my kids, so why is he letting her hurt us like this? Please, young ones, respect your family. xxx
—Guest diane

Miscommunication2

I took the advice of a grandparent on here and began to write daily letters to my grandson. It has helped to get my feelings out without being betrayed by my family. I have not cut off communication with my son. He told me that they needed their space. Do not call nor text. So it is they who have cut off communication. I have learned that what I carry around is masked anger, and I am trying to learn how to express it without coming across petty or pious. I hope that this will help my relationship with my son's girlfriend, but I am afraid the damage is done and that they will use my bipolar disorder against me, even though I take my meds on a regular basis. I miss my kid. He was a light in what once was a dark place. His light is still there. I have several videos that I watch. I hope that I don't lose too much time. I love you Jesse. I love you Anthony. You and daddy mean the world to me.
—Guest devastated mimi

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Grandparents Denied Contact With Grandchildren Share Their Strategies

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