Roots of the Conflict
My issue is my son's lifestyle and his choices in life, which indirectly involve my grandson. My son is very good with his son and shows love to him, but his lack of priorities is sometimes a source of disappointment to his son. My son is 25 and does drugs in and out of jail. Yet when he is with his son, he is a very good father--patient, loving, caring--but he refuses to see how his lifestyle and his choices are hurting his son and the impact on his future it will have. When I tell my son to think about his son and realize that what he is doing is going to hurt his feelings, he does. You can tell he feels bad, but does it anyway.
What I Did and How It Turned Out
This is not really a conflict as much as an ongoing concern. I try to tell my son to think of his son, to remember how it felt when his own dad did things that hurt him, to remember that and to not want his son to be hurt like that. I try to remind him all the time to think of his son. I also try to explain how he is going to regret these choices one day, that he is just laying the groundwork for future hurt and disappointment with in himself, and to think that just because his son is thrilled when he sees him, that doesn't mean that one day he may want nothing to do with him. I tell him to think of his and his father's relationship, and although my son says it will never be that way for him and his son . . . it will be, and he just refuses to see it.