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Funny Grandma Quotes

Humorists from Ellen DeGeneres to Jeff Foxworthy Poke Fun at Grandmothers


Humor and grandmas are natural go-togethers, so when we are the target of good-natured fun, we have to take it with a smile. Enjoy these funny grandma quotes from contemporary wits.

  • Rita Rudner, stand-up comedian
    "My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
  • Jean Kerr, author of Please Don't Eat the Daisies
    "When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs."
  • Jeff Foxworthy, comedian and TV host
    "Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother--you're not sure what you've got, but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
  • Henny Youngman, comedian known for one-liners
    "My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
  • Ellen DeGeneres, comedian and talk-show host
    "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

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