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Ten Things to Consider When Planning Your Baby Shower

An Open Letter from the Grandmother-to-Be to the Mother-to-Be


Mature woman feeling pregnant woman's bump at baby shower, laughing
Barry Austin/Digital Vision/Getty Images

Dear Daughter or Daughter-in-Law,

You know how excited I am about the new baby! I know your friends will be planning a shower for you soon. Although this will be your special occasion, I'd like to feel as much a part of it as possible. So here's what I'd like for you to know about your baby shower.

  1. Make sure I can be there.
    Confirm the date with me before you finalize it. You know that I travel a lot, and I would be distraught if I had to miss your shower. But those cancellation policies are murder!
  2. Let me share it with a friend.
    Ask me if I would like to invite one or two of my close friends. I know this is your occasion, but I’d love to show off my lovely mommy-to-be.
  3. Make shopping convenient for me.
    If you use a baby registry, choose at least one store that is close to my home. Registering at more than one store is best for me.
  4. Give me plenty of time to shop.
    Choose the items for your registry promptly, and let me know when it is done so that I can shop early.
  5. Be mindful of my budget.
    Put some reasonably priced items on your registry. I support your right to pick out the perfect ensemble for your nursery, but my generation tends to have a practical side. I want to buy something you'll love, but I don't like buying items that I feel are overpriced.
  6. Offer transportation.
    I don't want you to have to worry about picking me up, but if the shower is in a location that is unfamiliar to me, offer to have someone pick me up. I may prefer to find my own way, but the offer will be much appreciated in either case.
  7. Include me in the festivities.
    At the shower, introduce me to the guests I don’t know, and make an effort to include me in the conversation. I promise not to talk too much or embarrass you.
  8. Recognize me in some small way.
    I'd love to be seated beside you for at least part of the shower, perhaps when you are opening gifts. If you feel that those spots belong to someone else, find some other way to acknowledge that I'll be an important person in your baby's life.
  9. Say you love my gift.
    I know you can't seem to appreciate one gift more than another, but do show that you like my gift. Also, send me a thank-you note. Just because I’m family doesn’t mean that I won’t look for a thank-you.
  10. Use the item that I have given.
    If you know I am coming to visit, dress the baby in the outfit I chose, or pull out the toys I bought. I want to be a part of your baby’s life, and seeing my gifts in use will make me feel included.

Now I'm sure you have an equal number of suggestions for me. I love you, and I'm listening!

Read more baby shower tips for parents and grandparents.

For lots more ideas for new grandmothers and those who are not-so-new, visit the Grandparents home page.

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