So you’re going to be a grandparent! One of the joyful decisions ahead of you involves choosing your grandparent name. Like many rites of passage, this one may present some perils. Choosing grandparent names is especially difficult today when some children have multiple grandparents rather than the traditional four. Here are some of the potential conflicts that can arise around the issue of grandparent names.
1. You and another grandparent choose the same name.
Seniority has its privileges. If the other grandparent already has grandchildren who use the chosen name, you may have to give it up. First, consider keeping the same name and adding your given name, last name or initial to it. If you think that would be too confusing, look through my list of grandmother names or grandfather names and see if something else strikes your fancy. If the other grandparent doesn’t already have grandchildren, then the name should go to whoever “called” it first. That’s a very good reason not to wait for the arrival of your grandchild to decide upon your grandparent name.2. Grandparents pick out names that are too similar.
You’ve picked out a grandparent name, but it is very close to a name chosen by another grandparent. Perhaps you want to be called Gram, and the other grandmother has chosen Gran. This is a difficult situation for your future grandchild, who is not going to be the most skilled vocalist at first. If your chosen name is really important to you, stay with it. Otherwise look for something that is more easily distinguished from your child’s other grandparent.3. Your children don't like your grandparent name.
You are thrilled with your choice of a grandparent name, but your children don’t like it. Basically it is a grandparent’s right to decide upon a name. You have the right to stick to your first choice. On the other hand, if you are a compromiser by nature, you may be happier switching to a name that makes all parties happy.4. Your grandchild chooses a different grandparent name.
You picked out your grandparent name, but your grandchild calls you something different. Perhaps you picked out Grammy, but your grandchild insists on calling you Gummy. Usually this is a matter of childish lack of articulation, and with patience you can train the grandchild to call you by your chosen name. A good portion of the time, grandparents are so enamored of their grandchild that they adopt whatever the grandchild calls them, but you can insist on your chosen name if you like.5. You've changed your mind!
You picked out your grandparent name, but now you have found something you like better. Lauren Charpio, the author of You Can Call Me Hoppa, is a staunch advocate of grandparents changing their names at any point. You may find that it’s not easy to change the habits of your grandchildren and their parents. If you feel strongly about it, however, give it a shot!6. You want to break with tradition.
Your family has a traditional name, but you don’t like it. Just because your mother was a Mimi, and her mother was a Mimi—that doesn’t mean that you have to choose the same name. In fact, if the great-grandmothers are still living, it will be less confusing if you don’t. Don’t be afraid to make your own choices.
Whatever name you decide upon, use it a lot before the baby arrives, so that it flows trippingly from your tongue. Otherwise, you may revert to your family’s traditional name when the sight of that wonderful newborn grandchild has you half addled. That’s what happened to me!
