I've warned before that grandparenting isn't all fun and games. It's stressful to balance being a good grandparent with all the other demands on our time. A reader posted today about her particular grandparenting dilemma:
I'm 48 and have absolutely no career plan. I've been a mom since I was 19. Just when I thought I could go back to school and set my sights on a career, my daughter dropped a bomb on me--she was pregnant. I thought this was just a minor setback. Then I became pregnant for the 4th time. Now--3 more grandkids later--I'm the only babysitter available and (at my own insistence) she and her husband pay me just $100 a week. . . .What will I do in another 5 or 6 years, when they're all in school? Will I have any employment options? If so, what will be available to a woman my age?
There's a lot that's not spelled out here, but barring some extreme circumstance, I believe that this grandmother needs to give notice to her daughter to make other child care arrangements. Then she needs to get an education or training and make a career for herself. The best thing that the older generation can do for the younger is to try to provide for our own twilight years so that we're not a burden on them. What feels like turning her back on her daughter could actually be the best thing for both of them in the long run.
Do you agree? You can read the full post here. You should also vote in the child care poll and check out the somewhat surprising results.
Related:
The term “baby sitting” should never be used for keeping family members or friend’s children. Once you label yourself as a babysitter you are doomed to be their employee and not their help mate and it can drive a deep wedge in your relationship.