In a NY Times article published yesterday, author Bruce Feiler shares a family secret: His grandparents didn't sleep together. Today lots of couples are sleeping separately, but most of them still keep it a secret. According to a source quoted by Feiler, one in four American couples sleep separately. An earlier Times article reports that some housebuilding couples are requesting two master suites or a sleeping nook off the master suite. But even when couples plan for separate bedrooms, they seldom advertise the fact. There's still a stigma attached to sleeping separately.
Lots of factors enter into separate sleeping, but snoring is the number one complaint. As people become older and heavier, snoring increases. Still, other situations can make separate bedrooms desirable:
- Bedmates who disturb their partners by watching TV, listening to the radio, or using electronics
- Partners who have different biological clocks or different work schedules
- Parents whose children sometimes invade their bed
- Restless sleepers whose movements disturb the partner
It's not just grandparents who are declining to share the sheets, although empty nesters naturally have more choices of places to sleep. And don't assume that couples who don't sleep together don't have sex. Maybe they have more sex because they are getting more rest and aren't ticked at each other in the morning!
Read more about sleep solutions from Sheri & Bob Stritof, Guides to Marriage.
What do you think about couples sleeping separately? Leave a comment below.