I've had November 4 on my calendar for a while, ever since my daughter told me that the first Wednesday of each month is Senior Citizen Day at Kroger, and I can get a 10% discount on my whole bill, not including tobacco, alcohol or gift cards. Yesterday I spent an hour or so going through my e-coupons and paper coupons and matching them to the store ads before heading to the store.

At Kroger, the service desk employee quickly upgraded my Kroger card to a Kroger senior citizen card. There was only one catch: the upgrade would take 24 hours to become effective. I wouldn't be getting the senior discount after all.

I did my shopping anyway, and saved 45% on my bill with coupons and my Kroger card. Now I'm looking forward to December 2.

At some Kroger stores, the discount is only 5%, and the qualifying age may vary also. If you're interested, you'll need to check with your local Kroger, or call your favorite store and see if they are matching Kroger's deal. Just be sure to ask for all of the details. It's hard to win at the grocery game if you don't know all the rules.

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Moonwalks and inflatable slides are great fun for the grandkids. We usually rent one for Thanksgiving, but they are also good for family reunions, combined birthday parties and a host of other celebrations. Photo © Susan Adcox

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Recently I wrote about the need for families to discuss end-of-life issues, mentioning that most people say they want to die at home, but around half die in a hospital. A new study shows that patients in the United States are five times more likely to have spent some of their last days in an intensive care unit (ICU) than patients in England. When patients were over 85, U.S. patients were more than eight times more likely to have been in ICU. In the midst of our national debate about health care, it's worth pondering the implications of this information.

In a news release, lead author Dr. Hannah Wunsch summarized the study as being about "[w]hether less intensive care for very elderly patients who are dying is a form of rationing, or is actually better recognition of what constitutes appropriate care at the end of life," saying that the issue "warrants further research."

As grandparents, we should be devoting some thought to our own mortality. Many children have their first experience with death when a grandparent dies. Some grandparents will die suddenly, in circumstances beyond their control. Others, however, can have input into how their last days are spent. It's worth spending some time thinking about what your wishes will be if you happen to fall into that second group. It could make a difference to those who are left behind.

Read more about preparing for and dealing with a grandparent death.

I've always lived in neighborhoods blessed with hordes of trick-or-treaters, those neighborhoods where houses are close together and there's a dearth of scary dogs. I've never minded giving out tons of candy. It has always seemed like a proper payoff for getting to see the kiddies' costumes. In my neighborhoods, the main thing to be feared on Halloween was running out of candy. I can remember that when I was a kid, my mom sometimes raided the fridge for small apples when she ran out of candy--anything to keep from having to turn out the porch light, which seemed like a failure of sorts.

Hubby and I bought our Halloween candy early this year, which seemed like a good idea at the time. I emptied the sacks into a big bowl, which I tucked away around the corner in the dining room, thinking "Out of sight, out of mind." No such luck.

If you've played video games with your grandchildren, you've probably encountered tractor beams, those force fields that suck up everything that gets too close. My Halloween candy is equipped with tractor beams. Everyone who has entered my house for the past two weeks has unerringly found their way to the candy bowl. I'll admit that I've succumbed to the Kit-Kats a few times myself. As a result, I find myself needing to make another trip to the store. I have some great ideas for last minute costumes, but I have no idea how to make more Halloween candy materialize out of thin air!

If you're a grandmother-to-be, I've just learned about a new product that some parents-to-be will really love. ItzBeen is a baby care timer. There are buttons to push when the baby is fed, changed or put down for a nap, plus a miscellaneous button that's good for remembering medication. There's even a slide that helps breastfeeding mothers remember which side to nurse on.

It's been a while since I had a newborn, but I remember that brain-fogging exhaustion that goes with infant care. Itzbeen would have been really useful to me because numbers tend to slide right out of my brain. Itzbeen is also really helpful when more than one person is taking care of a baby. When the next shift comes on, the caregiver doesn't have to ask how long it's been since a feeding, diaper change, nap or the last dose of Baby Tylenol.

Itzbeen is a product that will be most useful during those earliest days of parenting, so it makes an ideal baby shower present. I'm adding it to my mental list of things I wish I had had as a young parent, along with disposable diapers and baby monitors. As for baby wipe warmers, I think I made it just fine without.

Read a review of Itzbeen or compare prices.

I am addicted to audio books. They entertain me while I do things that I hate, such as cleaning and driving. Feeding an audio book habit can be expensive, however. Audio books tend to be expensive new and not readily available used. Back in May I wrote about downloading free classics from Librivox, but once in a while I want something more modern than Jane Austen. I was thrilled to learn that my local library now offers audio books for online download. I downloaded my first one last night--a Ruth Rendell mystery. It took a little time, but I was able to put it on my iPod, and today I'm happily listening as I do the laundry. I didn't have to drive to the library, and I don't have to worry about late fees.

Audio books, videos and eBooks are all offered by my local library. Check your library to see what's available. Probably I should change that to libraries. I actually have three library cards: one from my city, one from the county and one from the larger city nearby. I could get access to the local community college library as well, but there is such a thing as an embarrassment of riches!

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Fall festivals mean roasted corn, face painting and days in the crisp October air. Soon it will be time for holiday outings and shopping. In the meantime, enjoy one more funnel cake with the grandchildren! Photo © Susan Adcox

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I was with a grandmother friend the other day when she received a call from her daughter-in-law. "I have to go," she said, "the kids are out of diapers and wipes." She grumbled a bit about having to leave, but didn't question why she had to be the one to go to the store. Different grandparents, it seems, have different grandparenting styles and different expectations about their roles.

I've always had the attitude that it is the parents' job to supply their children with the necessities of life. I am the buyer of books, ice cream, special outfits and movie tickets. I don't buy diapers and wipes. I don't buy breakfast cereal or underpants. I have been known to give or lend my children money when times are hard, but the parents have to insure a steady supply of food, clean clothes and other essentials. I'm not exactly sure why I have this attitude, whereas some of my friends always visit their children loaded down with everything from toothpaste to toilet paper. I guess I feel somehow that I would be impugning my kids' ability to parent if I came bearing gift bags from Kroger.

What do you think? If you are a grandparent, do you pick up supplies for your grandchildren on a regular basis? If you are a parent and receive such largess, how do you feel about it? Leave a comment below.

October may be going out with a roar as far as the H1N1 virus is concerned.

In a paper published in the European journal Eurosurveillance, a group of Purdue scientists predicted that the disease would peak between Weeks 39 and 43, too late for the vaccine to do much good. We are now in Week 43.

Another flu controversy surfaced last week. On Thursday the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported the results of a survey showing that one out of five American children had suffered a "flu-like illness" during the first 11 days of October. Most of those cases were probably pandemic H1N1 influenza, the CDC reportedly said. On Friday CDC Director Dr. Thomas Frieden said that the media had misinterpreted the survey. The majority of the sick kids probably just had minor infections, he said. Frieden did concede that in hard-hit areas, one in five kids could have H1N1.

The good news for grandparents is that older people continue to be largely spared from the virus, for several reasons, including some that I discussed in an earlier post. The bad news is that our grandchildren are vulnerable. There's not much grandparents can do about that, although like everyone we need to stay informed. You might want to read Parents' Guide to Swine Flu, put together by our Guide to Child Parenting, Katherine Lee . Also check for updates from our Guide to Pediatrics, Vincent Ianelli, M.D. With delivery of the vaccine lagging, knowledge may be the only protection most of us have from this nasty virus.

If you read the comics this morning, you may have noticed that a number of them had a common theme: volunteering. Garfield's Jon signs up for park clean-up, and Dagwood teaches senior citizens how to make his trademark sandwiches. Even Hagar the Horrible lectures his troops about volunteering. What's going on here? Why are we getting lessons with our laughs?

Comic strip writers have joined with the entertainment industry at large to promote volunteerism. I don't watch much television, but I understand that dozens of programs are featuring volunteerism in their current week storylines. This week of activism culminates in Make a Difference Day tomorrow. Disney is getting in the act with its "Give a Day, Get a Disney Day" initiative. You can get free admission to a Disney park for a day of volunteer work in 2010. If you plan to take grandchildren to Disney next year, this is a great opportunity to save on admission and teach grandchildren about volunteering at the same time.

Lots of grandparents are retired and are thus prime contributors of volunteer hours. If you are still working, your employer may be willing to be a partner in your efforts. Organizations like iParticipate and the HandsOn Network make it easy to find volunteer opportunities in your area.

If you have done volunteer work and have advice or encouragement to offer, please leave a comment below.