I've been looking through stacks of Christmas pictures, and it's amazing how few really good ones we have. The bad ones are usually a combination of too many people in the frame and too much clutter, plus kids who are too excited to be still. Also, lots of grown-ups shoot standing up, while the kids' toys are on the floor and the kids are looking at their toys. The result is a lot of shots of the tops of kids' heads. That's why one of my hints for taking great photographs of grandkids is to get on their level. Another is to avoid flash. Combine natural lighting with simple composition, and you just might get a nicely atmospheric shot, like this one. Photo © L. Haffelfinger

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It's one of those watershed moments in the lives of many grandparents--the first Christmas without a tree. I was appalled the first time my dad decided not to put up a Christmas tree. I think my sister and I put one up for him that year. Then we realized that he didn't mind not having a tree. We were the ones who minded. Now we make sure he has a pretty poinsettia, and everyone is okay with that.

If you've always put up a tree but haven't so far this year, here are a couple of ways to ease out of the habit.

• Buy a little Norfolk pine or a rosemary plant trimmed to a Christmas tree shape. Decorate with a handful of small ornaments or bows. After the holidays are over, you'll have a house plant to enjoy or, in the case of the rosemary, to flavor a dish.
• Create a branch Christmas tree from an interestingly shaped tree branch. You'll need only a few ornaments. Because there are no needles, each ornament shows up like a little work of art.
• Make a Christmas tree for the birds. If you have a suitable tree in your yard, decorate it with pine cones filled with nut butter, suet balls, strings of cranberries and other treats for the birds. If you are treeless, a bare tree branch serves for this purpose as well. Don't add any tinsel or shiny decorations, but bright red yarn will lend a festive air.

These Christmas tree solutions avoid the expense and hassle of a traditional Christmas tree, but will still contribute to your holiday spirit. You might want to try out one of these ideas even if you've already put up a tree.

Following Friday's post in which I mildly protested the Everything-Pink-and-Princess state of girls' toys and clothes, I received a comment from fellow grandparent blogger Martin Hodges. Martin lives in England, and wrote about the pink/princess issue the same week that I did. Martin mentions PinkStinks, a U.K. campaign against gender stereotyping. I've spent a good bit of the morning on the PinkStinks website.

One of the stories which resonated with me was about two Swedish schoolchildren who took on retail giant Toys R Us last year over gender stereotyping in their Christmas catalog. The PinkStinks blog confidently reports, "Because of those children, this year the catalogue is set to change." I'm not sure that change happened, at least in the U.S. I remember sitting down with my youngest granddaughter and that catalog and being appalled. That particular publication was long ago put in the trash, but I have the current sales flyer in hand. Almost very single toy involving science, construction, cars, trains or sports is illustrated with a boy. Dolls, dollhouses and play kitchens feature girls. In one ad for a play kitchen, one boy is pictured in the background, looking on while two girls "cook." PinkStinks is currently promoting a boycott of the UK toy retailer Early Learning Centre for similar promotional practices.

The PinkStinks blog states that it does not wish to "demonise" the Early Learning Centre, just to encourage them to live up to their mission statement. I'm similarly torn about Toys R Us, a store where I've bought lots of excellent toys. I hate to boycott any retailer in these tough economic times, but I would certainly support a letter-writing campaign directed toward Toys R Us.

What's your take on this issue? Leave a comment below.

Being a princess is more hazardous than one would think. I just noticed a guest review posted to my review of Monopoly Junior. The reviewer is warning readers about the Disney Princess version of Monopoly Junior, which features castles with sharp turrets that can do some damage if stepped on. It sounds like a really bad design.

In my review, I expressed a different concern about the Disney Princess version--namely, that it's really silly to make princess versions of half the games on the market. If you read my review of Pretty Pretty Princess, you might be confused, because I actually like that game. The difference is that being a princess is an integral part of the game. It's not a cheesy version of an original, like the Princess Monopoly Jr.

While I am mildly irritated by the proliferation of Everything Princess, I don't think it is a huge societal problem. The authors of Packaging Girlhood beg to differ. When they survey toy advertisements and products, they see evidence that gender stereotyping is alive and well and infecting our daughters and granddaughters. Maybe they are right and I am wrong. I thought that the Everything Princess movement was merely a fad that would die out in a short time, but it has proven to have real legs. And those legs are clad in pink tights.

What do you think? Will the Everything Princess trend run its course without doing any harm, or is it more insidious than it appears?

Last week I stopped at Michaels for some craft supplies and found that it is the latest store to jump on the dollar bandwagon. I bought card games, small art kits, monogrammed note pads, markers and temporary tattoos for the grandkids' stockings, all for a dollar each. I seldom go into regular "dollar stores," but I am a fan of the dollar spot at Target and probably would have hit it this year had I not happened upon the goodies in Michaels. Now I just have to add some candy and nuts, and the stocking stuffing can commence!

My grandkids get stockings at their own homes, of course, but I couldn't resist making them second stockings for my house. Stockings were always a big part of our Christmas tradition. Also, when the grandkids arrive on Christmas Day, their stockings will keep them busy until it's time for the bigger gift exchange.

What's your favorite stocking stuffer? Leave a comment below.

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Some years it's Betty Spaghetty. Some years it's a Wii. Most parents remember chasing those must-have and hard-to-find toys, from Cabbage Patch dolls to Zhu Zhu Pets. The great thing about being a grandparent is that you can let the parents deal with the must-have toys. You can just buy the grandkids really cool gifts of your own choice. Photo © L. Sanderson

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In Time magazine Joel Stein recently wrote a funny column about a serious subject: who should have custody of his son if something were to happen to him and his wife. Stein dismisses his family members as potential guardians for a variety of reasons, varying from age to a penchant for gory movies to a vegan diet. He then strikes upon the perfect adoptive parents for his son, who doesn't yet need adopting: a college friend and his wife, the Wus. For some reason Stein thinks that his column in a national magazine is a good venue for telling his son's grandparents that they've been rejected as replacement parents.

I know of at least one couple who made a similar decision. They picked out another couple who shared their interests and values and popped the question: Would you take our two children if something happened to both of us? They were met with, first, we'll get back to you on that and, second, deafening silence.

Another matter that complicates custody arrangements is that humans are so darn unpredictable. It's entirely possible that parents could make what they believe to be the very best choice to care for their kids, get it all in writing and then learn that the designated parents actually approve of running with scissors, don't recycle and listen to Lady Gaga during dinner.

I have no idea whether Stein is serious in his choice of the Wus, or if he's just being funny. He is a funny guy. Check out his latest column about his high school reunion. I do know that since Stein has decided that his son's grandparents aren't good enough to take care of his son on a long-term basis, they might decide that they're not available for weekend babysitting gigs. Also, his holiday wish list is probably destined for the paper shredder.

Did Ebenezer Scrooge have it right? Economist Joel Waldfogel has just published a book with the telling title Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn't Buy Presents for the Holidays. Waldfogel's basic premise makes a lot of sense. He contends that when we buy stuff for ourselves, we get good value for our money because we know exactly what we want. A lot of money is wasted when others buy gifts for us, because they have no idea what we want. In fact, Waldfogel asserts that most of us wouldn't pay a quarter of the cost of the gifts we receive if we were purchasing them for ourselves.

I've been on the receiving end of some holiday misfires--a Barry Manilow album, a huge meat slicer--but I also remember lots of gifts that I would have never bought for myself but that have brought me immense pleasure, like the Christmas ornament I received one year from my son. I could have bought that for myself, but I would have felt a little silly having it engraved, "I love you, Mom." Besides, contrary to Waldfogel's argument, I don't always get exactly what I want when I buy for myself, as anyone looking in my closet could tell.

I have one more bone to pick with Waldfogel. In his first chapter, available on the Net, he targets Grandmas as being clueless gift givers. Now it's one thing to propose completely overhauling our holiday traditions. It's quite another to dis grandmothers. Waldfogel had better watch his back.

What's your opinion about Waldfogel's premise? Vote in the poll, and leave a comment.

If you think the current recession has been hard on your family, imagine how difficult it has been for some grandparents raising grandchildren (GRGs). According to a recent article in the New York Times, many GRGs didn't anticipate raising a second family, They are often ill-prepared, living in small apartments on fixed incomes. Resources to help GRGs are available, but are increasingly underfunded. In many states, GRGs receive less financial help than foster parents.

Still, the inspirational stories persist, like these reported by a Houston newspaper. Shirley Reed, 69, raised four children and three grandchildren and is now raising three great-grandchildren. Darlene Tillis, 57, is rearing seven grandchildren. In case you think these are isolated instances, the Census Bureau's American Community Survey estimates that last year about 2.6 million grandparents were raising grandchildren under 18, a figure which represents an increase of about 4 percent from 2007.

There are some good ideas out there about helping GRGs, like the innovative housing in Hartford that I wrote about in January, but such programs are unable to meet the demand for their services. If you have the opportunity to donate to a community toy drive this holiday season, please be extra generous. As much as grandparents traditionally hate to ask for help, they hate it more when their grandchildren go without. I bet that quite a few of those donated toys will be going to families headed by GRGs, and I believe that they need all the help they can get.

Back in February, I posed this question: "Are grandparents taking over Facebook?" Now we have an answer, based on Facebook's own stats: Yes. There are now more grandparents on Facebook than there are high school students.

If you figure, as most people do, that one reason grandparents join Facebook is to keep up with their grandchildren, this is not great news. I anticipate that teenagers will move to some other social network or networking strategy, hoping to keep oldsters behind the curve. That social network hasn't become apparent yet, although teenagers definitely use their cell phones as major networking tools. On their phones, if they don't send a message or a photo to Grandma and Grandpa, their grandparents won't see it.

Even though I anticipate that Facebook will soon be shunned by my grandchildren, I still love Facebook. I can get my daily fix of Scramble. I keep up with ex-students all over the globe, and I'm always hoping to find my all-time best friend from sixth grade. Shirley, if you're out there, friend me!